Sharing infertility stories
One of the hardest aspects of managing infertility is the sense that you and your partner are the only ones battling to get pregnant. Telling your infertility stories might be just what you need. Tricycles on the lawn, ‘twins on board’ stickers in the back window of the minivan – it’s easy to figure out who has children! When a couple doesn’t have children, unless you know them well, you may never know whether it’s by choice or not. Previously (as in before the world wide web) you would only find support groups in which to relate your infertility stories in big cities. Moerover, infertility was perceived as socially unacceptable and even shameful. Because of the increased availability of the World Wide Web you can now experience both a cyber support group and a real life support group, and you’ll be able to find out just how common childlessness is.
Infertility stories of every shape and size are pretty simple to find on the Internet. You may read stories about couples who have finally had a child after repeated miscarriages, couples who have gone through IVF or similar fertility treatments, couples who have opted to use a donated sperm, womb or egg, couples who have given birth to twins (or more) because of fertility treatments and couples who have decided to adopt. You are sure to find something at least a bit similar to your situation! The story that made my eyes all misty was the one about a lady who donated an overy to her identical twin sister so she could get pregnant! Identical DNA, same basic building blocks for the eggs, no risk of rejection! I know that it could mean a risk of earlier menopause for the twin who gave her ovary, but if I remember correctly, she had already had her babies so she was delighted to help! I get all emotional just thinking about it.
On the other hand, I’m not sure if reading or listening to a heap of infertility stories is that helpful. You could get depressed hearing a whole heap of happily-ever-after stories when you don’t seem to be having any success at all, although in all fairness the stories might also help you. My humble view would be that while it’s a good idea to be part of an actual real-life support group while you read those infertility stories, because you could do with care that is particularly geared for your circumstances, and you also could do with a chance to tell your own infertility story. You can give the excuse that there aren’t any infertility support groups in your neighborhood, but have you thought of creating one? Other couples in the district might benefit from having a place to share their infertility stories. Your GP might be able to refer couples to you if you aren’t already aware of other couples struggling with childlessness. You don’t have to be a trained therapist; all you need is an ear and a shoulder – a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen, and perhaps a teapot too.
It is crucial to have the chance to to tell your infertility stories, and to listen to the stories of other couples too. As I said previously, perhaps you should consider of starting one yourself. Sharing your infertility stories and realizing that you aren’t alone might go far in helping you manange.
Here is more information on Infertility Stress. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.

